December 2020
And so we come to the end of the year. I bid farewell to Berlin, having decided to head home for Christmas. A thank you for the time and space and joy it has given me, and an altered perspective. There’s nothing like living abroad to highlight the inaccurate self-image our irrelevant island retains of itself, hammered painfully home by the instant chaos of the test and release scheme I’d hoped to take advantage of; the chaos of the descent into Tier 4; the last minute shaming, grandstanding chaos of our eventual Brexit deal. I feel furious, angry and sad about the cruelty and small-mindedness and incompetence. It doesn’t have to be like this you know! Your government does not have to make your lives this miserable! Test and trace is not that hard - believe me! I’ve come from a better land!
But I am lucky, and I am grateful. I did have to do the full quarantine, but many friends and their pets came to my doorstep. My mum and I did have to cancel our plans to go up to York but also had a small and yet lovely Christmas at home, with coffees from our local coffee shop and chilly glasses of garden champagne with our neighbours. There was sun by the river and a cat on the sofa and piles of books to read and one or two gifts that made me feel so known and so perceived that I wanted to laugh and to cry. Many of the people I love are in this country, and there are many things I love about it.
top film: the wonderful doc The B-Side: Elsa Dorfman’s Portrait Photography, on the brilliantly unpretentious large format Polaroid photographer
top book: Afropean by Johnny Pitts, fab piece of travel writing exploring Europe’s Black history and communities which makes me only want to read travel writing from henceforth
top art: none in person possible in lockdown month, but starting a new Instagram account purely for sharing + looking at 35mm photography has led to poring over loads of brilliant European analogue photographers